The following homily, based upon Luke 5:1-11, was delivered by Father Johnson on Sunday, February 7, 2010 (if you wish instead to listen to the homily, click here):

"By the grace of God, I am what I am." This is St. Paul’s acclamation of what God is doing in him. Can we honestly say these same words? Have we truly allowed God to make us new people, or are we relying on our own strength and our own abilities to change our lives? Numerous programs and books promise to help us live more productively, to be happier people, to have deeper and more fulfilling relationships. These programs tell us how to change our patterns of thought so we can change our patterns of behavior. Some work better than others. Many people find these programs helpful, but at the end of the program, when all of the steps have been completed, there often remains a yearning for something more. There is still a feeling that we were meant to do something greater, and the transformation that has been accomplished is not quite complete. The problem with most of these programs is that they rely on us changing our thoughts and behaviors. They enable us to increase our abilities, but we are still relying on our abilities.

Jesus was standing by the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd that had come to hear Him had grown too large for Him to address from land. Jesus saw Simon Peter and his company cleaning their nets after a long and fruitless night of fishing, and He asked for Simon Peter’s help. It wasn’t just Simon Peter’s boat that Jesus needed. He needed someone with the skill to keep the boat reasonably steady so He could use the natural amplifying effect of the water to address the crowds. Whether he was motivated by curiosity, a sense of pride in his ability, a sense of charity, or something else, Simon Peter agreed to employ his years of experience to assist Jesus.

Luke does not tell us what Jesus taught that day, but following his address to the crowd, Jesus told Simon Peter to set out for the deep water and let his nets down for a catch. It’s not too hard to imagine what Simon Peter thought about that. "Sure, you Rabbis think you know everything. What does an ignorant fisherman like me know about fishing? I’ve just been doing this for my entire life, but don’t let that trouble the Rabbi." A good paraphrasing of Simon Peter’s response to Jesus might be, "Okay boss. We’ve worked all night, and the fish just aren’t there. But if you say so, we’ll give it another try; don’t be too disappointed when the nets come up empty."

Anyone who knows anything about fishing in that area knows Jesus’ advice was all wrong. Jesus’ strategy never should have worked, but the nets were filled to the point that they were breaking and the boats were sinking. When the boats were back on shore, and Simon Peter had a moment to think, he said, "Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!" Notice the change in title that Simon Peter gives to Jesus. Before the catch, Simon Peter called Jesus "master," "boss." After the catch he called Jesus "Adonai," "Lord." This title would have had a very deep meaning for a Jewish person. The most fundamental prayer of the Jewish faith is the Shema. "Shema Israel, Adonai Elohim Adonai echod." "Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God, the Lord is one."

What did Simon Peter see in Jesus that could have evoked such a response? What did he see that brought him to this epiphany of his sinfulness in contrast to the holiness of Jesus? It was more than the miraculous catch of fish, though that would have caught anyone’s attention. Simon Peter knew that a person who could do what Jesus had just done could quickly become very wealthy. He knew that Jesus could have used that power for His own gain, but He had set out on a very different path. Jesus ignored the allure of wealth and power to proclaim the kingdom of heaven. Here was holiness in the purest form, a person who could have everything the world said was valuable, but chose the Kingdom of Heaven instead. Simon Peter knew that he could never change himself enough to stand in the presence of true holiness. No matter how devout he was, he would always come up short. It is no wonder that Simon Peter said, "Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!"

Jesus would not go away. He wanted to transform Simon Peter. Jesus wanted to bring him to something greater than he could ever have come to through his own power, no matter how devout he was. Jesus said, "Simon Peter, you have been catching fish to kill. From now on you will be catching people and bringing them to life." From that moment on, like St. Paul, Simon Peter could say, "By the grace of God, I am what I am."

St. Paul had persecuted the church with great zeal. He had overseen the murder of St. Stephen. He had devoted himself to a strict observance of the law and to the destruction of the followers of Jesus Christ. Then, one day, St. Paul saw the risen Lord, and from that moment he was transformed, and became the Apostle to the Gentiles. It is tempting to think of people like Peter and Paul as supermen, as different from us ordinary Christians, but that is not what St. Paul says about himself. He says, "By the grace of God, I am what I am."

The same Lord who took Simon Peter from fishing on Gennesaret and made him a rock in the foundation of the church calls us to work for the Kingdom of Heaven. The same risen Lord who appeared to Paul calls each of us into a personal relationship with Himself. The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead can animate us. We can be transformed so that we too can say, "By the grace of God, I am what I am."

On our own we can call Jesus, "Master," or "boss." We can set out to try to do all of the right things, to try to obey His instructions, but in that, we can still claim ownership of our lives. It is when the grace of God through the Holy Spirit leads us to say, "Adoni," "Lord," that we turn our very selves over to God. That is when true life begins. That is when we will find that something more that has been the longing in our hearts.

That is why St. Paul ties his apostleship to the resurrection. Our faith, our membership in the church, is not just about becoming better people. It is not just about obeying the commandments, or having a higher standard of morality. Through the resurrection of Jesus from the dead we are offered new life. We are not better people. We are new people in Christ Jesus. No amount of effort on our part can accomplish that. We can become new people only God’s grace that comes when we embrace Jesus as our Lord.

If you have been seeking something more in life, if you have done all that you can to satisfy your inner hunger, and still find something lacking, then come to the table of the Lord today, and as you kneel to receive the sacrament of the body and blood of Jesus, allow the Holy Spirit to move within you to say, "Adonai, my Lord and my God." Do not simply come with a desire to be more obedient. Come with the desire to give yourself to Jesus. If you have already done that, if you have already offered your self to Jesus, then come and renew that pledge. Allow the Spirit to continue that work of new life in you so that each day you may say more and more, "By the grace of God, I am what I am."

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